When Female Masturbation Is Permissible, According to Muslim Scholars and Therapists
Some traditional scholars of Islam permitted unmarried women to masturbate if they were struggling with desire. Some scholars who were of this opinion include Ibn Abbas, Mujahid, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn Hazm, Ibn Najjar, and Ibn Aqil.
Spanish Muslim scholar, Ibn Hazm (1064) was a jurist, theologian and litterateur of Islamic Spain.
Iraqi Muslim scholar, Ibn Aqil, also spelt Ibn Aqeel, was an Islamic theologian and scholar of the Hanabali school, the most traditionalist school of Islamic law.
Ibn Hazm
Among the scholars who allowed masturbation, but considered it disliked was Ibn Hazm [456H/1064CE]. He said: “If a woman rubs her vagina without letting something enter then this is makrouh [disliked] and she wouldn’t be a sinner. Similarly if a man did the same thing then the same rule would apply, because it’s permissible for a man and a woman to touch their private area with their left hands. And there is a consensus about this. Touching this area is Halal and there isn’t anything extra to add to it except a person would touch their private parts until they have an ejaculation and this isn’t Haraam based on the verse. “ while He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, [ Al-An-am 119] and this doesn’t prove that it isn’t allowed . Allah said: He it is Who created for you all that is on earth. [ Al-Baqarah:29] However is consider it bad manners so I view it to be Markruh.” (Source: Al-Muhalla 11/392)
Ibn Aqeel
"When a man is in a position of marriage or concubinage, it is not permissible for him to masturbate with his hand, said Ibn Aqeel. And he also said: And our companions and our sheikh did not make mention of similar aversion, and did not explicitly state it is prohibited.
He said: And if he is not in a position to have a wife or a concubine, and does not have a sex drive that might lead him into adultery, then masturbation is not permissible for him, since it is enjoyment by himself; the verse forbids it.
If the condition wavers between lukewarm and desire, and he does not have a wife or a servant girl or someone to marry, it is disapproved but not forbidden. And if he is overcome by his sex drive, fearing transgression, as in the case of a prisoner, a traveller, or a poor person, it is permissible for him; (Imam) Ahmad stipulated this, and related that the Companions (of the Prophet (saw)) used to do it (i.e. masturbation) on their military raids and their journeys.
If a woman is without a husband, and her (sexual) craving becomes intense, some of our companions have said it is permissible for her to take hold of the akranbij, which is an object made from hide in the shape of a penis that a woman can insert, or something similar to it made from a cucumber or small squash." (Source: Ibn Qayyim, Bada’ia Al-fawa’id)
Al-Mardawi
The distinguished Hanbali jurist al-Mardawi – in his famous work Al-Insaf – after summarizing the Hanbali position on the issue of masturbation states: “I would like to add two points in this context: Masturbation or induced ejaculation is not allowed except in the case of dire necessity… secondly, the woman is like a man in this matter; so, she is to use a device like a penis when she fears falling into zina. Then he adds: This is the authentic ruling (of the school), and the author has reckoned it in al-Furu’ as the preferred ruling on this issue.”
Early Scholars and Companions
Ibn Najjar [972H] mentioned in ‘Muntaha’ that the Hanbali school of Fiqh view masturbation to be Haram when there is no need for it. This applies to both a man and a woman, but if they do it due to fear of fornication then it’s allowed.
3-144 Vol s5
Amr ibn Deenar said: “There is no harm in masturbation.” (Source: Musanaf Abdur Razzaq/ #13594)
Ibn Abbas said: “It’s better than committing Zina” (Source: Musanaf Abdur Razzaq/ #13594)
Muslim Sex Therapist
Sex therapist and Egyptian sexologist, Heba Kotb said, “Neither the Qur'an nor the Sunna, however, address masturbation. My advice is that it’s OK to masturbate, but only if you need it badly. Masturbation has become more prevalent here [in Egypt] because sex is forbidden outside marriage.”
Some traditional scholars of Islam permitted unmarried women to masturbate if they were struggling with desire. Some scholars who were of this opinion include Ibn Abbas, Mujahid, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn Hazm, Ibn Najjar, and Ibn Aqil.
Spanish Muslim scholar, Ibn Hazm (1064) was a jurist, theologian and litterateur of Islamic Spain.
Iraqi Muslim scholar, Ibn Aqil, also spelt Ibn Aqeel, was an Islamic theologian and scholar of the Hanabali school, the most traditionalist school of Islamic law.
Ibn Hazm
Among the scholars who allowed masturbation, but considered it disliked was Ibn Hazm [456H/1064CE]. He said: “If a woman rubs her vagina without letting something enter then this is makrouh [disliked] and she wouldn’t be a sinner. Similarly if a man did the same thing then the same rule would apply, because it’s permissible for a man and a woman to touch their private area with their left hands. And there is a consensus about this. Touching this area is Halal and there isn’t anything extra to add to it except a person would touch their private parts until they have an ejaculation and this isn’t Haraam based on the verse. “ while He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, [ Al-An-am 119] and this doesn’t prove that it isn’t allowed . Allah said: He it is Who created for you all that is on earth. [ Al-Baqarah:29] However is consider it bad manners so I view it to be Markruh.” (Source: Al-Muhalla 11/392)
Ibn Aqeel
"When a man is in a position of marriage or concubinage, it is not permissible for him to masturbate with his hand, said Ibn Aqeel. And he also said: And our companions and our sheikh did not make mention of similar aversion, and did not explicitly state it is prohibited.
He said: And if he is not in a position to have a wife or a concubine, and does not have a sex drive that might lead him into adultery, then masturbation is not permissible for him, since it is enjoyment by himself; the verse forbids it.
If the condition wavers between lukewarm and desire, and he does not have a wife or a servant girl or someone to marry, it is disapproved but not forbidden. And if he is overcome by his sex drive, fearing transgression, as in the case of a prisoner, a traveller, or a poor person, it is permissible for him; (Imam) Ahmad stipulated this, and related that the Companions (of the Prophet (saw)) used to do it (i.e. masturbation) on their military raids and their journeys.
If a woman is without a husband, and her (sexual) craving becomes intense, some of our companions have said it is permissible for her to take hold of the akranbij, which is an object made from hide in the shape of a penis that a woman can insert, or something similar to it made from a cucumber or small squash." (Source: Ibn Qayyim, Bada’ia Al-fawa’id)
Al-Mardawi
The distinguished Hanbali jurist al-Mardawi – in his famous work Al-Insaf – after summarizing the Hanbali position on the issue of masturbation states: “I would like to add two points in this context: Masturbation or induced ejaculation is not allowed except in the case of dire necessity… secondly, the woman is like a man in this matter; so, she is to use a device like a penis when she fears falling into zina. Then he adds: This is the authentic ruling (of the school), and the author has reckoned it in al-Furu’ as the preferred ruling on this issue.”
Early Scholars and Companions
Ibn Najjar [972H] mentioned in ‘Muntaha’ that the Hanbali school of Fiqh view masturbation to be Haram when there is no need for it. This applies to both a man and a woman, but if they do it due to fear of fornication then it’s allowed.
3-144 Vol s5
Amr ibn Deenar said: “There is no harm in masturbation.” (Source: Musanaf Abdur Razzaq/ #13594)
Ibn Abbas said: “It’s better than committing Zina” (Source: Musanaf Abdur Razzaq/ #13594)
Muslim Sex Therapist
Sex therapist and Egyptian sexologist, Heba Kotb said, “Neither the Qur'an nor the Sunna, however, address masturbation. My advice is that it’s OK to masturbate, but only if you need it badly. Masturbation has become more prevalent here [in Egypt] because sex is forbidden outside marriage.”
“I deal with pleasure, desire, orgasms, masturbation, sexual frequency and erection problems,” said Egyptian sex therapist and Muslim sexologist, Heba Kotb.
“Neither the Qur'an nor the Sunna, however, address masturbation. My advice is that it’s OK to masturbate, but only if you need it badly. Masturbation has become more prevalent here because sex is forbidden outside marriage.”
“Neither the Qur'an nor the Sunna, however, address masturbation. My advice is that it’s OK to masturbate, but only if you need it badly. Masturbation has become more prevalent here because sex is forbidden outside marriage.”
Is Masturbation Permitted or Prohibited in Islam
Question: I have a question regarding masturbation. I am aware that masturbation is haram in Islam, but recent studies have shown it to be not only a fun activity but also a healthy one as it helps men and women not only to keep their sex drive up, but it also helps decrease the probability of prostate cancer. If there are so many advantages to masturbation, why is it haram in Islam?
Summary Answer: “In some cases, masturbation is permissible and can be a lesser of two evils, such as committing zina (fornication) versus masturbation.”
Full Answer;
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Brother,
Firstly, I will define masturbation as ’sexual self-gratification or release of sexual energy through orgasm’.
There is no clear verse in the Quran or hadith that says masturbation is haram. The position that masturbation is haram is not an absolute one. There are different opinions on the matter. Some scholars and madhabs rule it haram, others say it is disliked (makruh), while others say it is permissible under certain circumstances. Often this verse is quoted as a proof:
“And those who guard their private parts save from their wives and those (slave-girls) which their right-hands own – so there is no blame upon them. Then whoever seeks beyond that (which is lawful), they are the transgressors.” (23: 5-6)
The position is based on the meaning that guarding one’s private parts could imply from his or her own self (masturbation). A similar subject that we often hear is haram is oral sex, yet once again there are no clear commands referring to oral sex being haram. The Prophet taught us that only two sexual acts are haram: anal sex and sex during menstruation. If the Prophet got that explicit and did not mention oral sex or masturbation, then perhaps these acts were left unsaid as they require interpretation based on context. Allah knows best.
Islamically, there are different positions and it is not correct to make an absolute claim that masturbation is haram in all cases. I suggest you do more research on the Islamic positions as there are many.
In some cases, masturbation is permissible and can be a lesser of two evils, such as committing zina versus masturbation. This was the position of Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ibn Qayaam al Jazawi, for example. Thus, it is based on circumstances. I personally believe that masturbation is not haram, and in our times of pornography, highly sexualized stimuli and zina being so accessible in some societies, masturbation can be a way to protect many young people.
If you take the position that masturbation is permissible, then take heed of the following points:
1 – Like anything, too much of something can be damaging. Do not overindulge or make it a habit to such a degree that you become dependent on it. It can become an addiction, and some people feel angry and frustrated unless they masturbate daily due to its pleasurable release. It can have the same dependency on a drug.
2 – Do not masturbate with other items that are clearly haram like pornography.
3 – Masturbation between spouses is not considered masturbation. Rather this is a type of foreplay when partners touch or excite using one another’s private parts. Again, married partners are allowed to do whatever they want to meet sexual needs as long as it is consenting between the two of them and is not one of the two forbidden acts clearly stipulated by the Prophet, peace be upon him.
4 – I’m unaware of the research you mentioned in your question, but I have read by Ibn Qayum al Jawazi in his book (the prophetic medicine) that release of semen is healthy and should not be avoided for long periods of time as it can affect moods negatively and helps promote stronger semen. Of course, one must research current medical findings as well and not base positions on medical sciences of the past.
5 – In Islam, some scholars take the position that in difficult situations where one fears zina or cannot marry, it is permissible to masturbate. We should also fast when possible, but this does not mean fasting and masturbating cannot be used together to protect oneself from zina and using pornography. Note that masturbation does break your fast, hence you cannot do both at the same time but can alternate if your condition is severe and requires both.
6 – Acknowledge that many Islamic positions were crystallized centuries ago and sometimes the issues are not re-addressed in the current context. Hence, one should seek knowledge and research not only the positions of past but contemporary views as well, since times and conditions change.
May Allah help you,
Karim Serageldin
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services
Karim Serageldin, founder of Noor, completed his BA in psychology & religion, followed by an MA in east-west psychology with a specialization in spiritual counseling. He is a certified life coach with years of teaching and community outreach experience. His practical work and research includes developing a modern framework of Islamic psychology, relationship, family and youth coaching. He provides seminars and workshops in the United States. You can contact Br. Karim at: http://www.noorhumanconsulting.com or facebook.com/noorhumanconsulting.
Source: About Islam
Question: I have a question regarding masturbation. I am aware that masturbation is haram in Islam, but recent studies have shown it to be not only a fun activity but also a healthy one as it helps men and women not only to keep their sex drive up, but it also helps decrease the probability of prostate cancer. If there are so many advantages to masturbation, why is it haram in Islam?
Summary Answer: “In some cases, masturbation is permissible and can be a lesser of two evils, such as committing zina (fornication) versus masturbation.”
Full Answer;
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Brother,
Firstly, I will define masturbation as ’sexual self-gratification or release of sexual energy through orgasm’.
There is no clear verse in the Quran or hadith that says masturbation is haram. The position that masturbation is haram is not an absolute one. There are different opinions on the matter. Some scholars and madhabs rule it haram, others say it is disliked (makruh), while others say it is permissible under certain circumstances. Often this verse is quoted as a proof:
“And those who guard their private parts save from their wives and those (slave-girls) which their right-hands own – so there is no blame upon them. Then whoever seeks beyond that (which is lawful), they are the transgressors.” (23: 5-6)
The position is based on the meaning that guarding one’s private parts could imply from his or her own self (masturbation). A similar subject that we often hear is haram is oral sex, yet once again there are no clear commands referring to oral sex being haram. The Prophet taught us that only two sexual acts are haram: anal sex and sex during menstruation. If the Prophet got that explicit and did not mention oral sex or masturbation, then perhaps these acts were left unsaid as they require interpretation based on context. Allah knows best.
Islamically, there are different positions and it is not correct to make an absolute claim that masturbation is haram in all cases. I suggest you do more research on the Islamic positions as there are many.
In some cases, masturbation is permissible and can be a lesser of two evils, such as committing zina versus masturbation. This was the position of Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ibn Qayaam al Jazawi, for example. Thus, it is based on circumstances. I personally believe that masturbation is not haram, and in our times of pornography, highly sexualized stimuli and zina being so accessible in some societies, masturbation can be a way to protect many young people.
If you take the position that masturbation is permissible, then take heed of the following points:
1 – Like anything, too much of something can be damaging. Do not overindulge or make it a habit to such a degree that you become dependent on it. It can become an addiction, and some people feel angry and frustrated unless they masturbate daily due to its pleasurable release. It can have the same dependency on a drug.
2 – Do not masturbate with other items that are clearly haram like pornography.
3 – Masturbation between spouses is not considered masturbation. Rather this is a type of foreplay when partners touch or excite using one another’s private parts. Again, married partners are allowed to do whatever they want to meet sexual needs as long as it is consenting between the two of them and is not one of the two forbidden acts clearly stipulated by the Prophet, peace be upon him.
4 – I’m unaware of the research you mentioned in your question, but I have read by Ibn Qayum al Jawazi in his book (the prophetic medicine) that release of semen is healthy and should not be avoided for long periods of time as it can affect moods negatively and helps promote stronger semen. Of course, one must research current medical findings as well and not base positions on medical sciences of the past.
5 – In Islam, some scholars take the position that in difficult situations where one fears zina or cannot marry, it is permissible to masturbate. We should also fast when possible, but this does not mean fasting and masturbating cannot be used together to protect oneself from zina and using pornography. Note that masturbation does break your fast, hence you cannot do both at the same time but can alternate if your condition is severe and requires both.
6 – Acknowledge that many Islamic positions were crystallized centuries ago and sometimes the issues are not re-addressed in the current context. Hence, one should seek knowledge and research not only the positions of past but contemporary views as well, since times and conditions change.
May Allah help you,
Karim Serageldin
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services
Karim Serageldin, founder of Noor, completed his BA in psychology & religion, followed by an MA in east-west psychology with a specialization in spiritual counseling. He is a certified life coach with years of teaching and community outreach experience. His practical work and research includes developing a modern framework of Islamic psychology, relationship, family and youth coaching. He provides seminars and workshops in the United States. You can contact Br. Karim at: http://www.noorhumanconsulting.com or facebook.com/noorhumanconsulting.
Source: About Islam
Question: What does the Shari`a (Islamic Law) say about masturbation (istimna')?
Answer: This article is in three parts:
1. The reports of Ibn `Umar, Ibn `Abbas, and the early Mufassirun [Commentators on Qur'an] concerning istimna' [masturbation] followed by a commentary by Imam Ghazali;
2. The position of the Four Schools and other scholars.
3. Ibn Jarir al-Tabari's discussion from his "Ikhtilaf al-fuqaha" (The Differences of Opinion among the Jurists)
Ibn `Umar
The reports of Ibn `Umar. ("Mawsu`at fiqh `Abdillah ibn `Umar" ["Encyclopedia of Ibn `Umar's Jurisprudence"], Beirut ed. 1986, p. 115.)
a) He was asked about it and is reported to have answered: "It is nothing except the rubbing of the male member until its water comes out" and in another report: "It is only a nerve that one kneads."
b) He answered in another report: "It has been forbidden: that one (who masturbates) is having intercourse with himself."
Ghazali
Reports of Ibn `Abbas and the early Mufassirun commented by Ghazali. Hujjat al-Islam [The Proof of Islam] Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali said: "Ibn `Abbas said: "A man's worship does not become perfect except through marriage, and this is a universal predicament of which few can do without." "Qutada said concerning the meaning of the verse "Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear" (al-Baqara 2:286), that it means lust. "
`Ikrima and Mujahid are reported to have said, concerning the meaning of the verse, "Allah would make the burden light for you, for man was created weak" (an-Nisa' 4:28), that it means men cannot do without women. "Fayyad ibn Najih said: "When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intellect go away." Some add: "and one third of his religion." "Ibn `Abbas explains the meaning of the verse: "From the evil of the darkness when it is intense" (al-Falaq 113:3) as referring to the erection of the male organ. "The reason for this is that sexual desire is an overwhelming bane which, when it arises, cannot be countered with mind nor religion, although it is good insofar as it serves both for the life of this world and the next.
The Prophet (s)
The Prophet (S) said: "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the evil of my hearing, of my sight, of my tongue, of my heart, and of my private parts" [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nisa'i, Hakim; al-`Iraqi confirms its authenticity]. And if the Prophet (S) himself sought refuge from lust, then who after him can take the matter lightly?
Ibn `Abbas
"One day after one of Ibn `Abbas's classes, everybody left except a young man who stayed behind. Ibn `Abbas asked him what he needed and he replied that he wanted to ask a question but was too shy to ask in front of other people. Ibn `Abbas said: "The scholar [`alim] is like a father, so speak to me frankly, as you would to your own father." The young man said: "I am an unmarried young man, and sometimes I fear hardship upon myself, so I masturbate [astamni] with my hand." Ibn `Abbas turned his face from him and said: "Fie, alas! It would be better to marry even a slave-girl, and yet it is better than adultery [zina]." "This is a warning that the unmarried man who is controlled by his lust faces three evils: the least of them is to marry a slave-girl who might bring a child into slavery, worse is masturbation, but most indecent yet is adultery. Ibn `Abbas did not call the first two "(indifferently) permitted" [mubah] (the last one being forbidden [haram]), because they are cautioned against and are to be resorted to only for fear of something worse, as one resorts to eating from the meat of a dead animal [i.e. not slaughtered] in order to survive. Therefore preferring the least of two evils is not tantamount to declaring it unreservedly permissible, even less is it being declared a good."
Translated from "Ihya' `Ulum ad-Din" [Reviving of the Religious Sciences], Book of Marriage. NB: Two translations of this particular section of the "Ihya" are available: Madelain Farah's "Marriage and Sexuality in Islam" (1984), annotated and far more complete than the Book of Marriage comprised in Fazul-ul-Karim's "Imam Ghazali's Ihya Ulum-id-Din" (Lahore).
Positions of the Four Schools
Position of the Four Schools and other scholars as explained by Sayyid Sabiq in his book "Fiqh as-Sunna" (Cairo ed. 1987) Vol. 2 p. 581-583.
"Istimna' negates the manners and sublime character demanded of human beings. The scholars of fiqh, however, have differed concerning it. Some consider it absolutely forbidden [haraman mutlaqan]. Some, forbidden in certain cases, and obligatory [wajib] in others. Finally some say it is disliked [makruh].
"Among those who consider it absolutely forbidden are the Malikis, the Shafi`is, and the Zaydis [Shi`ite madhhab closest to the four Sunni Schools]. Their proof is that Allah Almighty ordered that we guard our private parts save from wives and slaves (al-Mu'minun 23:5-7); to trespass these two boundaries through masturbation, therefore, makes one a transgressor who leaves what Allah made permitted to go over to what he made forbidden.
"The Hanafis consider it forbidden in certain cases and obligatory in others, that is, when one might otherwise commit adultery. This is in accordance with the precept that one must choose the least of two evils. They add that masturbation is forbidden if it is merely for the sake of pleasure (when there is no risk of adultery by avoiding it), but that it is excusable if a single, unmarried man is overcome by his lust and seeks to quiet it.
"As for Hanbalis, they say that it is forbidden except if done for fear of committing adultery, or for fear of something more unhealthy, by an unmarried person who is unable to marry. If these conditions are present, he is excused...
"Mujahid said: The ruling is the same for women as it is for men."
3. Ibn Jarir in a lost section of his "Ikhtilaf al-fuqaha'" quoted by al-sayyid al-Murtada al-Zabidi in his commentary on "Ihya `Ulum al-Din" (1st chapter of the book on "Nikah," section on the troubles and benefits of marriage) says:
"I read in the book on the differences of jurists by Ibn Jarir al-Tabari the following: "The jurists differed concerning the question of istimna': - al-`Ala' ibn Ziyad ibn Matar (d. 94) said: "This is acceptable, we used to do it during our military campaigns." Related to us by Muhammad ibn Bashshar al-`Abdi who said Mu`adh ibn Hisham related it to us from his father from Qatada from al-`Ala'. - Al-Hassan al-Basri, al-Dahhak ibn Muzahim, and a large group with them said the same thing. - Ibn `Abbas said: "It is better than fornication/adultery, and to marry a slave-woman is better than that." -Anas ibn Malik said: "He who does this is cursed." - Al-Shafi`i said: "This is not permitted." Related to us by al-Rabi`.
The reasoning of those who hold al-`Ala's position is that to forbid something and to permit something is not established by any other way than through a formal proof to which it is imperative to acquiesce and submit; in this particular matter there is no unanimity of opinion (around such proof), although there is unanimity that if this is the substance of what one does, then it is forbidden. They are unanimous that he has to deal with this in a lawful way.
As for those who say what al-Shafi`i says, they derive their position from Allah's saying: "Wa al-ladhina hum li furujihim hafizun..." ("Successful are the believers... who guard their private parts, save from their wives or the slaves that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy, but whoso craveth beyond that, such are the transgressors" 23:1-7). Ibn Jarir says: "Allah has thus told that he who does not protect his private parts with other than his wives or those whom his right hand possesses, he is one of the transgressors, and whoever practices istimna' has committed transgression with his sexual parts by staying away from them." Shafi`i said after mentioning the verses: "Allah showed that no sexual act involving the male organ is permissible except in conjunction with the wife or those whom one's right hand possesses. And Allah knows best."
Source: Sunnah.org
Answer: This article is in three parts:
1. The reports of Ibn `Umar, Ibn `Abbas, and the early Mufassirun [Commentators on Qur'an] concerning istimna' [masturbation] followed by a commentary by Imam Ghazali;
2. The position of the Four Schools and other scholars.
3. Ibn Jarir al-Tabari's discussion from his "Ikhtilaf al-fuqaha" (The Differences of Opinion among the Jurists)
Ibn `Umar
The reports of Ibn `Umar. ("Mawsu`at fiqh `Abdillah ibn `Umar" ["Encyclopedia of Ibn `Umar's Jurisprudence"], Beirut ed. 1986, p. 115.)
a) He was asked about it and is reported to have answered: "It is nothing except the rubbing of the male member until its water comes out" and in another report: "It is only a nerve that one kneads."
b) He answered in another report: "It has been forbidden: that one (who masturbates) is having intercourse with himself."
Ghazali
Reports of Ibn `Abbas and the early Mufassirun commented by Ghazali. Hujjat al-Islam [The Proof of Islam] Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali said: "Ibn `Abbas said: "A man's worship does not become perfect except through marriage, and this is a universal predicament of which few can do without." "Qutada said concerning the meaning of the verse "Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear" (al-Baqara 2:286), that it means lust. "
`Ikrima and Mujahid are reported to have said, concerning the meaning of the verse, "Allah would make the burden light for you, for man was created weak" (an-Nisa' 4:28), that it means men cannot do without women. "Fayyad ibn Najih said: "When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intellect go away." Some add: "and one third of his religion." "Ibn `Abbas explains the meaning of the verse: "From the evil of the darkness when it is intense" (al-Falaq 113:3) as referring to the erection of the male organ. "The reason for this is that sexual desire is an overwhelming bane which, when it arises, cannot be countered with mind nor religion, although it is good insofar as it serves both for the life of this world and the next.
The Prophet (s)
The Prophet (S) said: "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the evil of my hearing, of my sight, of my tongue, of my heart, and of my private parts" [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nisa'i, Hakim; al-`Iraqi confirms its authenticity]. And if the Prophet (S) himself sought refuge from lust, then who after him can take the matter lightly?
Ibn `Abbas
"One day after one of Ibn `Abbas's classes, everybody left except a young man who stayed behind. Ibn `Abbas asked him what he needed and he replied that he wanted to ask a question but was too shy to ask in front of other people. Ibn `Abbas said: "The scholar [`alim] is like a father, so speak to me frankly, as you would to your own father." The young man said: "I am an unmarried young man, and sometimes I fear hardship upon myself, so I masturbate [astamni] with my hand." Ibn `Abbas turned his face from him and said: "Fie, alas! It would be better to marry even a slave-girl, and yet it is better than adultery [zina]." "This is a warning that the unmarried man who is controlled by his lust faces three evils: the least of them is to marry a slave-girl who might bring a child into slavery, worse is masturbation, but most indecent yet is adultery. Ibn `Abbas did not call the first two "(indifferently) permitted" [mubah] (the last one being forbidden [haram]), because they are cautioned against and are to be resorted to only for fear of something worse, as one resorts to eating from the meat of a dead animal [i.e. not slaughtered] in order to survive. Therefore preferring the least of two evils is not tantamount to declaring it unreservedly permissible, even less is it being declared a good."
Translated from "Ihya' `Ulum ad-Din" [Reviving of the Religious Sciences], Book of Marriage. NB: Two translations of this particular section of the "Ihya" are available: Madelain Farah's "Marriage and Sexuality in Islam" (1984), annotated and far more complete than the Book of Marriage comprised in Fazul-ul-Karim's "Imam Ghazali's Ihya Ulum-id-Din" (Lahore).
Positions of the Four Schools
Position of the Four Schools and other scholars as explained by Sayyid Sabiq in his book "Fiqh as-Sunna" (Cairo ed. 1987) Vol. 2 p. 581-583.
"Istimna' negates the manners and sublime character demanded of human beings. The scholars of fiqh, however, have differed concerning it. Some consider it absolutely forbidden [haraman mutlaqan]. Some, forbidden in certain cases, and obligatory [wajib] in others. Finally some say it is disliked [makruh].
"Among those who consider it absolutely forbidden are the Malikis, the Shafi`is, and the Zaydis [Shi`ite madhhab closest to the four Sunni Schools]. Their proof is that Allah Almighty ordered that we guard our private parts save from wives and slaves (al-Mu'minun 23:5-7); to trespass these two boundaries through masturbation, therefore, makes one a transgressor who leaves what Allah made permitted to go over to what he made forbidden.
"The Hanafis consider it forbidden in certain cases and obligatory in others, that is, when one might otherwise commit adultery. This is in accordance with the precept that one must choose the least of two evils. They add that masturbation is forbidden if it is merely for the sake of pleasure (when there is no risk of adultery by avoiding it), but that it is excusable if a single, unmarried man is overcome by his lust and seeks to quiet it.
"As for Hanbalis, they say that it is forbidden except if done for fear of committing adultery, or for fear of something more unhealthy, by an unmarried person who is unable to marry. If these conditions are present, he is excused...
"Mujahid said: The ruling is the same for women as it is for men."
3. Ibn Jarir in a lost section of his "Ikhtilaf al-fuqaha'" quoted by al-sayyid al-Murtada al-Zabidi in his commentary on "Ihya `Ulum al-Din" (1st chapter of the book on "Nikah," section on the troubles and benefits of marriage) says:
"I read in the book on the differences of jurists by Ibn Jarir al-Tabari the following: "The jurists differed concerning the question of istimna': - al-`Ala' ibn Ziyad ibn Matar (d. 94) said: "This is acceptable, we used to do it during our military campaigns." Related to us by Muhammad ibn Bashshar al-`Abdi who said Mu`adh ibn Hisham related it to us from his father from Qatada from al-`Ala'. - Al-Hassan al-Basri, al-Dahhak ibn Muzahim, and a large group with them said the same thing. - Ibn `Abbas said: "It is better than fornication/adultery, and to marry a slave-woman is better than that." -Anas ibn Malik said: "He who does this is cursed." - Al-Shafi`i said: "This is not permitted." Related to us by al-Rabi`.
The reasoning of those who hold al-`Ala's position is that to forbid something and to permit something is not established by any other way than through a formal proof to which it is imperative to acquiesce and submit; in this particular matter there is no unanimity of opinion (around such proof), although there is unanimity that if this is the substance of what one does, then it is forbidden. They are unanimous that he has to deal with this in a lawful way.
As for those who say what al-Shafi`i says, they derive their position from Allah's saying: "Wa al-ladhina hum li furujihim hafizun..." ("Successful are the believers... who guard their private parts, save from their wives or the slaves that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy, but whoso craveth beyond that, such are the transgressors" 23:1-7). Ibn Jarir says: "Allah has thus told that he who does not protect his private parts with other than his wives or those whom his right hand possesses, he is one of the transgressors, and whoever practices istimna' has committed transgression with his sexual parts by staying away from them." Shafi`i said after mentioning the verses: "Allah showed that no sexual act involving the male organ is permissible except in conjunction with the wife or those whom one's right hand possesses. And Allah knows best."
Source: Sunnah.org
Female Masturbation and Islam
What are the rights of woman after marriage? If the husband calls the wife to bed, can she say no? Does the husband need the wife's consent to have Intercourse?
If there is no consent, and the wife doesn’t want to, and he forces himself over her, isn’t that rape?
Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
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An Important Clarification
In light of recent attempts by some to sensationalise my views by taking them out of their intended context and accusing me of “legitimising and vindicating rape within marriage,” I would like to categorically express that the answer below does not, in any way, call for rape within marriage. In fact, it clearly delegitimises rape stating: “… the above does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification…” and “he [the husband] must restrain himself from forcing himself over her”. The answer below merely discusses the religious and Islamic obligation of a wife to fulfill the sexual needs of her husband and not use sex as a weapon against him. The ruling also applies to the husband, in that he has a religious obligation to fulfill the sexual needs of his wife and not deprive her of this right. Refusing sex without a genuine reason (or permission) and using it as a weapon against one’s husband or wife constitutes a sin in the eyes of God (i.e. in the next life), but does not legitimize rape or forced sex in this life.
-----
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning.” (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, no. 281)
Sayyiduna Talq ibn Ali (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi & Sunan al-Nasa’i)
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.” (Sahih Muslim, No. 1436)
The above and other narrations of the beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) clearly signify the importance of the wife obeying her husband in his request for sexual intimacy. It will be a grave sin (in normal circumstances) for the wife to refuse her husband, and even more, if this leads the husband into the unlawful.
Imam al-Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his commentary on the Hadith of Abu Huraira stated above:
“This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths).” (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084)
However, the above does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions “the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased” which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.
Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey his as long as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
Allah Most High says:
“On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.” (Surah al-Baqarah, 286)
Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her. If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one’s spouse before one’s self. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said: “None of you can be a true believer until he loves for his brother/sister what he loves for himself.” The importance of this is even greater in a marital relationship.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK
What are the rights of woman after marriage? If the husband calls the wife to bed, can she say no? Does the husband need the wife's consent to have Intercourse?
If there is no consent, and the wife doesn’t want to, and he forces himself over her, isn’t that rape?
Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
-----
An Important Clarification
In light of recent attempts by some to sensationalise my views by taking them out of their intended context and accusing me of “legitimising and vindicating rape within marriage,” I would like to categorically express that the answer below does not, in any way, call for rape within marriage. In fact, it clearly delegitimises rape stating: “… the above does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification…” and “he [the husband] must restrain himself from forcing himself over her”. The answer below merely discusses the religious and Islamic obligation of a wife to fulfill the sexual needs of her husband and not use sex as a weapon against him. The ruling also applies to the husband, in that he has a religious obligation to fulfill the sexual needs of his wife and not deprive her of this right. Refusing sex without a genuine reason (or permission) and using it as a weapon against one’s husband or wife constitutes a sin in the eyes of God (i.e. in the next life), but does not legitimize rape or forced sex in this life.
-----
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning.” (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, no. 281)
Sayyiduna Talq ibn Ali (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi & Sunan al-Nasa’i)
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.” (Sahih Muslim, No. 1436)
The above and other narrations of the beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) clearly signify the importance of the wife obeying her husband in his request for sexual intimacy. It will be a grave sin (in normal circumstances) for the wife to refuse her husband, and even more, if this leads the husband into the unlawful.
Imam al-Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his commentary on the Hadith of Abu Huraira stated above:
“This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths).” (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084)
However, the above does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions “the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased” which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.
Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey his as long as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
Allah Most High says:
“On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.” (Surah al-Baqarah, 286)
Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her. If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one’s spouse before one’s self. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said: “None of you can be a true believer until he loves for his brother/sister what he loves for himself.” The importance of this is even greater in a marital relationship.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK
Female Sexual Desires – Eradicating The Stigma by Umm Reem (Saba Syed)
“It's worse for a woman to commit adultery, because women are supposed to be pure.” OR “A girl's reputation is more delicate so she has to make more careful choices.”
Comments like these only highlight double standards among Muslims. To have a higher expectation of chastity from girls, especially practicing Muslim girls, compared to boys has become so normal that girls are brainwashed from a very early age with ideas like:
“Girls are supposed to have a higher control against their desires for the opposite gender.”
“Good girls shouldn't get sexual thoughts.”
“If a girl is pure, her thoughts and emotions would be pure too.”
But what happens when a girl's hormones kick in and she develops carnal desires?The mind and body contradict. The body responds to the natural desires and the mind rejects these desires, rather recalls the fallacious cultural beliefs that she was raised with. This causes a serious contradiction within a person, making her feel low about herself. Due to the lack of communication within the family and lack of female mentorship in our communities, she is left misguided. The internal contradiction between body and mind becomes so intense that it can, and has, caused long term emotional and personality damage in many girls. [This is one of the leading causes among many married Muslim women for lack of interest in intimacy—discussed in detail in an upcoming article in near future insha'Allah].
Last year, after my letter to the youth was published on MM, a girl got in touch with me complaining about the wrong advice I had offered her years ago about female sexuality, and how it had caused a lot of serious issues in her life.
Importance of MentorshipI'd mentored her when she was in college. During that time, we had discussions over gender interaction and female sexuality. At that time, inexperienced and still young myself, I hadn't fully overcome the erroneous concepts widespread within Muslim communities, and believed in the same ideas that “good girls are averse to sexual desires.”
I failed to offer her the right advice. She needed to hear that her desires were normal, align with her female sexuality and then she should have been given the remedies on how to control her desires, but instead I failed to recognize the normality of her sexual desires.
To be told that women normally don't have sexual feelings until after they get emotionally attached to a guy or until after they get married, to be told that men are sexual and that women are not, to be told that good girls don't think of sex before marriage, are all erroneous ideas that damage female sexuality.
I wasn't the only one who offered her the wrong advice, unfortunately, even the people of knowledge she talked to failed to recognize the “female struggles with their sexual desires”.
I can't undo the damage I've caused her or other girls in the past, but I can try my best to not repeat the same mistake and spread as much awareness on this issue as I can, bi idhniAllah.
Source: Muslim Matters
“It's worse for a woman to commit adultery, because women are supposed to be pure.” OR “A girl's reputation is more delicate so she has to make more careful choices.”
Comments like these only highlight double standards among Muslims. To have a higher expectation of chastity from girls, especially practicing Muslim girls, compared to boys has become so normal that girls are brainwashed from a very early age with ideas like:
“Girls are supposed to have a higher control against their desires for the opposite gender.”
“Good girls shouldn't get sexual thoughts.”
“If a girl is pure, her thoughts and emotions would be pure too.”
But what happens when a girl's hormones kick in and she develops carnal desires?The mind and body contradict. The body responds to the natural desires and the mind rejects these desires, rather recalls the fallacious cultural beliefs that she was raised with. This causes a serious contradiction within a person, making her feel low about herself. Due to the lack of communication within the family and lack of female mentorship in our communities, she is left misguided. The internal contradiction between body and mind becomes so intense that it can, and has, caused long term emotional and personality damage in many girls. [This is one of the leading causes among many married Muslim women for lack of interest in intimacy—discussed in detail in an upcoming article in near future insha'Allah].
Last year, after my letter to the youth was published on MM, a girl got in touch with me complaining about the wrong advice I had offered her years ago about female sexuality, and how it had caused a lot of serious issues in her life.
Importance of MentorshipI'd mentored her when she was in college. During that time, we had discussions over gender interaction and female sexuality. At that time, inexperienced and still young myself, I hadn't fully overcome the erroneous concepts widespread within Muslim communities, and believed in the same ideas that “good girls are averse to sexual desires.”
I failed to offer her the right advice. She needed to hear that her desires were normal, align with her female sexuality and then she should have been given the remedies on how to control her desires, but instead I failed to recognize the normality of her sexual desires.
To be told that women normally don't have sexual feelings until after they get emotionally attached to a guy or until after they get married, to be told that men are sexual and that women are not, to be told that good girls don't think of sex before marriage, are all erroneous ideas that damage female sexuality.
I wasn't the only one who offered her the wrong advice, unfortunately, even the people of knowledge she talked to failed to recognize the “female struggles with their sexual desires”.
I can't undo the damage I've caused her or other girls in the past, but I can try my best to not repeat the same mistake and spread as much awareness on this issue as I can, bi idhniAllah.
Source: Muslim Matters