According to research that was published in the Journal of Sex Research, the four things which makes sex most satisfying for women are; emotional attunement, emotional gratification, partner gratification, and sensory gratification.

1. Emotional Attunement was the most important factor for women's sex satisfaction, according to the study.

Emotional attunement refers to easy communication, non-judgemental harmonious rapport and mutual trust. It is when a woman feels emotionally safe and comfortable with their partner both before, during and after sex.

2. Emotional Gratification refers to emotional intimacy and connectedness.

Emotional gratification is when a woman feels psychologically fulfilled when making love. It is when sex is gentle and includes emotional intimacy. 

3. Partner Gratification refers to wanting your partner to be pleasured and fulfilled. Mutual pleasure is important for many women.

Partner gratification was the third most important factor for female sexual satisfaction. This is where the woman wants her partner to be happy and sexually satisfied as well.

4. Sensory Gratification refers to physical pleasure. It is when a woman feels full-body sensations and physical connection when intimate. 

Sensory gratification does not necessarily have to involve orgasms. A woman can be sexually satisfied without having an orgasm. For many women, satisfying sex is not goal-orientated where she seeks to climax. 

Conclusion: Emotional attunement including effective communication was the most important factor that most women say makes sex most satisfying.

​Therefore it is essential that men create a safe space for women to open up and enjoy sexual satisfaction.

​A sex technique that is supposed to take women to seventh heaven? We're excited about that. A method from Rwanda is even said to induce multiple orgasms. "Kunyaza" is the name of the traditional tapping practice, which literally means "to make urinate". Doesn't sound that intoxicating at first, but means nothing other than female ejaculation or "squirting".

With the "Kunyaza" method, a female orgasm of a special quality should be achieved. How does it all work? After the man has penetrated the woman and penetrated her for a while, he pulls his penis out of the vagina, holds it between two fingers and starts tapping the woman's vagina with the erect penis. First the small, inner labia, then the vaginal vestibule up to the extremely sensitive clitoris. He does this with less pressure at first, which, however, increases with the speed. Women find the pounding, vibrating stimulation particularly intense and it often leads to multiple orgasms.

​Results of the study:

• 45% of the women were cut/circumcised, 55% were not cut (uncircumcised).
• 32% of the women had type I genital cutting (at least partial removal of the clitoris), 11% had type II (at least partial removal of the clitoris and labia minora) and fewer than 2% of the women had type III (at least partial removal of the external genitalia and stitching or narrowing of the vaginal opening) or type IV (any other genital cutting).
• Uncut women were more likely to report that the clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of their body, while cut women were more likely to report that their breasts are their most sexually sensitive body parts.
• 66% of the cut women and 59% of the uncut women said they usually or always had an orgasm during sexual intercourse.
• No significant differences between cut and uncut women were observed in the frequency of reports of sexual intercourse in the preceding week or month, the frequency of reports of early arousal during intercourse and the proportions reporting experience of orgasm during intercourse. 

The study compared women who did and women who did not undergo the "less severe" types of genital cutting, and found that 66 percent of the cut women had an orgasm during intercourse. However, the cut women were more likely to cite the breasts than the clitoris as their most sensitive body part. The study's authors concluded that genital cutting does not eliminate a woman's sexual sensation, but instead "shift[s] . . . the point of maximal sexual stimulation from the clitoris . . . or labia to the breasts."

Based on the same study, the authors reported that any type of genital cutting can increase the chance of urinary infections, itching (pruritus) in the genital area, pain while urinating, and pain during sexual intercourse. So, although this "less severe" type of female genital cutting might not eliminate responsiveness to sexual stimulation, it may be harmful to a woman's reproductive health.  

Another study of women in Kenya found that cut women had negative sexual experiences and specifically adverse changes in desire, arousal and satisfaction were experienced among cut women after marriage.

Although many women who have undergone genital cutting may find it difficult to orgasm or enjoy sexual intimacy, there are many cut women who have a fulfilling intimate life with deep orgasms and joyful pleasure.

The Nigerian study debunks the myth that African women who have undergone genital cutting cannot orgasm. Whilst female genital cutting is a controversial and distressing topic, many circumcised women enjoy sex, experience pleasure, and have regular orgasms.

Conclusions:

• Female genital cutting did not significantly reduce sexual feelings in circumcised women. Therefore, female genital cutting should not be used as a justification to reduce sexual desire and activity in women.
• Circumcised women can enjoy sex and experience orgasms just as much as uncut women.

​
Source: The association between female genital cutting and correlates of sexual and gynaecological morbidity in Edo State, Nigeria - PubMed (nih.gov)

The Orgasmic Brain 
 
For a woman’s brain to get turned on sexually, another part of the brain has to turn off, according to a Dutch study of the brains of men and women during orgasm.
 
The study was undertaken in 2005 by neuroscientists at the Univerity of Groningen, in the Netherlands, where they used brain scans to map what happened in men’s and women's minds while their partners sat by their bodies, sexually stimulating them.
 
The study involved 13 women and 11 men aged 19 to 39. Women told the researchers when they faked orgasm, but the truth was there on the scans anyway. Having an orgasm is, for women at least, an event that takes place in the mind. Large parts of their brains that deal with emotion and fear appear to shut down so that they can climax.
 
What Is An Orgasm?
 
The orgasm is a fairly brief event that occurs in the mind and felt in the body. There is no agreed definition of an orgasm amongst medical professionals as it is a subjective experience referring to an intensely pleasurable sexual experience, often considered the peak or climax of sexual excitement.
 
Some people describe an orgasm as a “sense of euphoria,” “heavenly bliss,” “pleasurable rush over the body,” “complete joy,” “mind-blowing release,” “wonderful explosion of pleasure.” “sexual high.” “pure pleasure and peace” “volcano erupting,” “overwhelming feeling,” “indescribable feel-good sensations,” “like you’re flying.” “psychosomatic circle” “ecstasy,” “sensual relief,” “out-of-body experience,” and “heart-pumping fun.”
 
Orgasms trigger the release of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin, which also lower blood pressure. It can help to limit stress and tension, as well as relieving pain in the body.  

The Mind Orgasm
 
A mind orgasm, is also known as a mental, or fantasy orgasm. They can happen through stimulation of the largest sexual organ – the brain. The is what generally happens when you have an orgasm whilst sleeping. Some women can experience an orgasm from a conversation without any physical touch. Mind orgasms are brought via intimate thoughts and exploratory fantasies, nestled deep within the mind. “The orgasm for a woman is mental,” says sexual health educator, Angelica Lindsey-Ali.
 
Some women can orgasm without physical touch. It is known as a mental orgasm. For many women, to have a mental orgasm, requires having a still mind and thinking intensely about things that turn them on. Some women are able to have a mental orgasm by thinking about their intimate partner or listening to seductive words from their husband.       

The mind orgasm is one of fourteen orgasms women can experience, as outlined in the book Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure

Myths and traditions
The origin of the technique dates back to the Third Dynasty of the pre-colonial Kingdom of Rwanda, Nyanza being the capital city at the time. The story goes that a lonely queen was very much in the mood for sex while her husband was away on a military expedition. She summoned one of her male guards to satisfy her sexual needs. 

Waterfall
The poor man was terrified and held his penis with trembling hands in an attempt to penetrate the queen. His penis rubbed up and down against her lady parts and he constantly tapped her clitoris and labia. The tapping motion brought so much pleasure to the queen the she had a squirting orgasm. The huge waterfall that came out of her formed one of the largest lakes in East Africa. When the king came back, the queen asked him to make the same tapping motion with his penis. And that’s how the kunyaza technique was born. The kunyaza tradition gets passed down from one generation to the other.​

Sexual rite

For kunyaza, men are taught how to tap and rub the top of their penis on the clitoris and labia. Traditionally, Rwandan men feel ashamed if they are unable to bring their wife to a wet climax. In Rwanda, sex is not just about penetration and male lust. On the contrary, the man has to pleasure the woman and satisfy her. 

Impact of kunyaza 

According to Angelica Lindsey Ali, an American sexual health educator, kunyaza is the easiest and most effective way of achieving female ejaculation. Rwandan sexologist Vestine Dusabe reported that ninety percent of women can learn how to squirt with this technique.

In a BBC-documentary about kunyaza, we see how Vestine tries to keep the tradition alive in the quickly modernising urban areas of Rwanda. She teaches sex education to teenage girls and reminds them how lucky they are to live in a country where girls are not circumcised: ‘Here in Rwanda, the female experience of sexuality is part of our culture.’ In Rwanda, female pleasure is sacred.

8 August is International Female Orgasm Day. Celebrated around the world, the unofficial holiday is used to raise awareness about women's right to sexual fulfilment.  

In light of this, here are four Muslim women sex and intimacy educators to know about;

Amirah Zaky 
Amirah Zaky is a sex educator and vaginismus coach. She helps women of faith overcome their fear of sex and turn painful sex into pure pleasure. Amirah is on a mission to emower women to overcome or prevent vaginismus. 
Instagram: @amirahzaky 

The Village Auntie
Angelica Lindsey-Ali (aka The Village Auntie) is a certified sexual health educator and intimacy expert. Religiously-trained, The Village Auntie is a prominent sex educator with over 20 years of experience teaching Islamic and African traditions. 
Instagram: @villageauntie

The Halal Sexpert
Dr. Shaakira Abdullah (aka The Halal Sexpert) is a sexologist and researcher with a Masters degree in Human Sexuality. The Halal Sexpert is passionate about providing sexuality education to Muslim children and women.
Instagram: @thehalalsexpert

Ustadha Iffet Rafeeq
Iffet Rafeeq is an Islamic teacher who focuses on taboo topics and women-related issues. She specialises in well-being, marital intimacy and sexology in Islam. She is also the co-founder of the Dust to Diamonds Dawah YouTube channel.
Instagram: @iffetrafeeq

To read more about sexually empowered Muslim women in history, check out Women of Desire: A Guide to Passionate Love and Sexual Compatibility.